District CrossFit

Getting Started with District CrossFit’s “Look, Feel, Perform” Challenge

So you’ve decided to take part in our AWESOME Challenge.  Good choice!!  30 days from now you’re going to be blown away by how much you’ve improved in how you look, feel and perform (aka your life).   I’m really happy you’re going to jump into this thing with both feet but there are a few things you need to know first.  This is definitely not an exhuastive list so if you have any questions feel free to email me (info@districtcrossfit.com) and I’ll be happy to help.  Okay!  On to our 10 things you need to know/do to become a Paleo-fied you.

1.) GET RID OF ALL THE NON-PALEO FOOD IN YOUR HOUSE!!!

Robb Wolf has a great analogy for this so I’ll paraphrase him: “I don’t care what your thoughts on monogamy are, if you go to the Playboy Mansion drunk and high on ecstasy you will not survive monogamous.”  Fact.  If you are going to do this thing but have those hostess cupcakes “just in case;”  you will find a reason to eat them.  I guarantee it.  Get rid of them.  You don’t have to throw everything away, take 2 hours to go through your fridge and pantry and box that crap up keep it away.  At the end of 30 days if you STILL want them you can have a treat.  Better yet, once your life has been changed by the awesome power of Paleolithic Nutrition, donate them to a food bank and “help” people who REALLY need the food.  To quote Scrooge from Muppet’s Christmas Carol (and maybe Dickens’ Chrismtas Carol too but I’ve only seen the Muppet’s version): “Best do so!!! and decrease the surplus population!!!!”

2.) WHEN IN DOUBT… ONLY EAT MEATS AND VEGETABLES, NUTS AND SEEDS, SOME FRUIT, LITTLE STARCH AND NO SUGAR!!!

Yes, I know.  Quinoa is not technically a grain.  And sucralose is not technically sugar.  But you’re not doing this challenge to see how clever you are at getting around the rules.  You’re doing it to undo all the harm you’ve done to yourself when you thought the USDA Food Pyramid was good advice.  So avoid grain and sugar-like substances as well.  When it comes down to it your body knows what’s up, even though Sucralose isn’t technically a sugar your body still thinks it is and will treat it like such.

3.) UNDERSTAND THIS IN ADVANCE: CARBOHYDRATE WITHDRAWAL SUCKS!!!

True Story: I broke up with a girlfriend when I was first going Paleo.  It was really rough.  I was grouchy, in a bad mood, starving, had headaches, etc.  I was fiending for carbs!!!  Carbs are addictive.  You’ll crave them unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.  Remember Gary Taubes’ story about cocaine addicted mice that were given the choice between cocaine and sugar water… yeah, they took the sugar water.  Yes, it’s that bad.  Yes, you will CRAVEEEEEE sugar and sweets but I swear this will fade in a few days.  The other side of the tunnel is so worth it I can’t even tell you.  If you REALLY want pullups that bad you’ll stop eating bad stuff for you.

4.) STOP EATING OUT!  LEARN TO COOK!!!

If you already know how to cook: great!  If you don’t: learn!  It’s not as hard as it seems and much like learning how to bail out of the way of falling weights: it’s a valuable life skill.  Not only will you save a ton of money, you will impress the opposite sex.  If you’re a guy, look at this as a serious chick-impressing tool.  And if you’re a married guy, look at this as a way to treat the woman who has been kind enough to grace you with her presence. If you’re a woman, look at this as a husband-gettin’ tool.  If you’re a married woman, look at it as a husband de-fattening tool.  Any way you slice it there’s a silver-lining.  Trust me if I can do it, anyone can and it will actually become kinda fun.

5.) COOK 3x AS MUCH FOOD AS YOU THINK YOU WANT!!!

This is sort of 4a but I can’t explain to you how much this helps.  Are you going to cook some chicken for dinner on Saturday?  Great idea!!  Since you’ve already decided that, why not make lunch for Sunday and Tuesday while you’re at it!!!  This will save you boatloads of time.  Not to mention it’s SO FRUSTRATING when you buy a lot of meat and vegetables and it goes bad and you wasted your money.  If you cook it now you’ll find a time to eat it later.

6.) USE THE COMMUNITY!!!

The blog can be really fun if you want it to be (and a sweet chance to win an awesome dinner).  Use it to post anything paleo.  Plus, you already know everyone at DCF has been screened for Asshole-ish behavior.  Therefore no judgements allowed.  Everyone is here to help everyone.  I know this is starting to sound like AA but there’s a reason why AA works. When you’re part of a group you feel responsible to more than just yourself and this is a powerful tool.  Use it!  Got a craving for something?  Vent to someone.  Not sure how to broil something?  It’s cool, I don’t either.  But I know at least 4 people I can ask that will tell me.  I know one who would even do it for me (so what that happens to be my mom).  Get a “Paleo-buddy” and make sure they are on the wagon with you.  Use your CrossFit (and now Paleo) friends as much as you can.

7.)  IF YOU CHEAT, THE GAME AIN’T OVER!!!

Get back on the wagon!!!!!  This isn’t an elimination challenge like “Biggest Loser.”  You still have the opportunity to win all three prizes.  Don’t just give up on it.  Again, this is worth it!!!!  If you want, start the 30 days over right then and there.  This is not a rationale to cheat once in awhile though.  One of the main benefits of Paleo is undoing years of inflammation you’ve wreaked on your GI tract.  One slip can undo all of that hard work you’ve done.  Especially if you give in during the carb craving portion.  One little cheat won’t satisfy you; it will literally make you start the whole carb craving process over.  FIGHT THAT VOICE!!!!

8.)  DRINK LOTS OF WATER!!!

Liquids are probably the biggest culprit of excess carbohydrates.  Stick to water, coffee, and (I shouldn’t have to say this but..) unsweetened tea.   Fruit juice is NOT ok.  One cup of orange juice is the equivalent of about 8 oranges.  If you get the craving for orange juice and you eat 8 oranges and that doesn’t satisfy you.  Then feel free to have a cup of OJ.  Until that happens: avoid the OJ.   Gatorade, Powerade, Sobe, etc. are also bad ideas, they are just vehicles for High Fructose Corn Syrup.  Even though Peyton Manning drinks it, doesn’t make it a good idea.  Stick to water, and drink lots of it.

9.)  EAT A LOT!!!

If you’d like me to explain more later I will but keep this in mind:  CALORIES DON’T MATTER.  Yes, you will be eating a lot of fat.  Yes, fat has a lot of calories.  No, fat is not what made you fat.  Don’t count calories or make this difficult.  Paleo is all about quality not quantity.  I went from eating 2ish meals a day to eating 6 full meals a day and have (much to my chagrin) lost a little bit of weight.  I know that statement usually pisses a lot of people off but please understand that you need to eat to lose weight.  Remember: you’re body is smarter than you.  If it thinks it’s starving because you haven’t eaten in  20 hours it sure as heck ain’t gonna burn calories for the fun of it.  It’s had about 6 million years to figure out this whole “living” thing out.  Eat a lot, move a lot, and you’ll get what you want.

10.) HAVE FUN WITH THIS!!!

If you look at this like a prison sentence that’s exactly what it’s going to look like.  This is very much about outlook rather than ability.  There are many more fun ways to go about this than to see it as “the toughest thing in your life.”  It can be a challenge: We know you’re physically tough (you do CrossFit) test yourself to see how mentally tough you can be.  It can be an experiment: track your results.  Instead of taking a picture at the beginning and the end, take a picture everyday and animate them together.  Chart your weight everyday.   It can be a learning experience: see much can you learn about cooking in 30 days.
I hope this helps in some small way team.  This is going to be an awesome journey and not only will you be outrageously proud of yourself but you’ll be a whole new you.  If you have any questions, comments or concerns at all please don’t hesitate to contact me (info@districtcrossfit.com) for help.